TLS' What Not to Wear

There's been quite the stir amongst the Disney internet community of late regarding a website entitled People of the Park. This site features photos of the "fashion challenged" that have been spotted within the Disney theme parks. Many people are offended, because they feel the site is mean-spirited and hurtful.

I want to preface this post by saying that I have no interest in picking on anyone because of their weight. As someone who has struggled with weight issues her entire life, I have no desire to cast stones on that front. Fashion choices are a different matter altogether.

If you show up at Walmart in sweats or even pajamas, I'll probably cut you some slack. I'm going to assume that you're quite ill and need to pick up your prescriptions. Whether or not that's necessarily the case, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt.

Walt Disney World is a different story. I mean, first you had to buy whatever it is you are wearing to the park. Then you packed it in your suitcase. Finally, you put it on and left your hotel room. That means you had three opportunities to decide that this is what you wanted to be seen in. At that point, you're fair game in my book.

First off, let's discuss undergarments. Women, the girls are there for you, so you should support them. That said, if you can't get the kind of support you need from a strapless bra, then halter tops, racer-backs, and spaghetti straps are not for you. If I can clearly see what color bra or panties you are wearing, then you have obviously not grasped the concept of undergarments.

While being cool and comfortable is certainly the order of the day, keep in mind that other people can see you. And sometimes, your image is permanently burned into our retinas, whether we want it to be or not. When deliberating your apparel options, please make modesty a priority. There are just certain parts of the human anatomy that should only be viewed by mutual consent.

The most important fashion choice you may make at WDW is that of footwear. In this instance, I am not suggesting you go with the most fashionable choice. Even I don't wear heels in the park, and I do love my heels! You should also avoid boots, flip flops, or anything else that won't give you the comfort and support you need for walking five-plus miles per day. I recommend either well-broken in tennis shoes or Fit Flops. These little numbers are fabulous. You get all the convenience and comfort of a flip flop with the support of a tennis shoe. These aren't the most fashion-forward apparel items in my wardrobe, but they are the handiest when at WDW!

I've often said that a trip to WDW is a fascinating study in socioeconomics, and guests' fashion choices will certainly bear this out. When you see a perfect Stepford family who, at the end of a day in the parks, are still wearing neatly pressed white shirts and khakis without a stain or smudge in sight (seriously, how do they do that?), and all with perfectly coiffed hair -- well, you just know they are heading straight for a monorail resort. Meanwhile, the bedraggled woman who is sporting hair that has long since escaped its neon scrunchy, a t-shirt that's at least two sizes too small and, horror of horrors -- elastic waist knits shorts, is more than likely dragging her brood onto a bus to the All-Stars. Vilify me for saying it if you want to, but I'm really good at playing "Name Their Resort".

To quote Inigo Montoya, "Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up":

1. Be cool and comfortable.
2. Wear appropriate, supportive footwear.
3. Remember that other people will see you (whether they want to or not) so please dress accordingly.

Have fun and try to avoid being a poster child for "What Not to Wear"!